Urgent - Position wanted

>> This individual seeks an executive position. He will be available in January 2009, and is willing to relocate.
>>
>> GEORGE W. BUSH
>> 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
>> Washington , DC 20520

> EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
>
> Law Enforcement:
> I was arrested in Kennebunkport , Maine , in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.
>
> Military:
> I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam .
>
> College:
> I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.
>
> PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
>
> * I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
> * I began my career in the oil business in Midland Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas . The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
> * I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
> * With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.
>
> ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS :
>
> * I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union . During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America
> * I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
> * I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
> * With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida , and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States , after losing by over 500,000 votes.
>
> ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
>
>
> * I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
> * I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
> * I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury
> * I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
> * I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
> * I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
> * I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.
> * In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.
> * I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.
> * My "poorest millionaire," Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
> * I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.
> * I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
> * My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.
> * My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
> * I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent
> * investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
> * I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
> * I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
> * I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history.
> * I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.
> * I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
> * I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
> * I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
> * I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
> * I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election).
> * I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
> * I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
> * I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
> * I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.
> * I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.
> * I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.
> * In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
> * I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
> * I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.
> * I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.
>
> RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
>
> * All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
> * All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
> * All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.